Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Farmville is her only friend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize