She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
