Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
