i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
