Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
