there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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