Rock
Scissors
Fuck
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
