Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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