Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
