she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
