Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
