just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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