omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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