Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
