How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
