you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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