so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
