okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize