im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
