did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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