If i come over, it means nothing
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize