Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize