Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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