Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
