Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
