I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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