i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Randomize
