Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
