I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
