is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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