I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
