i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Randomize
