i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
