return my video game
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
