I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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