I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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