youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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