Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
