walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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