you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
