I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
