I just pynch a tree in the face
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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