The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
