Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
