It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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