The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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