Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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