Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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