Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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