You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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