i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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