i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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