better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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