Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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