Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
