apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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