How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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