I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
