he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
