it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
